Wednesday, February 14, 2007

'Will you be my Valentine?' said the Spider to the Fly

I don’t have anything against pick-up lines – they are smart, innovative and above all provide great source of immense entertainment, especially on a day like Valentine’s.
While women dream about their gifts – red roses, candlelight dinners, perfumes, John Abraham(?) and all other assorted paraphernalia, the men are busy trying to invent excuses – the TV, Radio and posters galore (not to mention the Shiv Sena) would not let them use ‘forgetfulness’, which until recently was the well-tried-and-tested-requiring-no-racking-of-brains excuse.

Can someone please tell the Shiv Sena the factual figures (no puns!) about how Valentine’s Day contributes to increasing the national GDP by exactly 16.78% (ok, that was my wild imagination, but what the heck!) - from cell phone networks where lovey-dovey messages jostle for space to restaurants and pubs which are overbooked with men and women who have finally found the mantra to overcome their coy selves.
Not to forget the innumerable number of heart-shaped-balloons fluttering away at every street corner and the florists taking up the daunting challenge of supplying those flowers to the love-struck people as also the sale of cards on this ‘Hallmark Holiday’.

But gentlemen, if you think that Valentine’s day is passé think again, when was the last time you approached ‘that’ girl without getting into any bodily harm? Well Valentine’s Day provides the perfect opportunity to do so.
When provided with that one opportunity in the year to earn maximum brownie points in her little pink notebook, why let go of it?
And of course you can make a beeline for all those single women and shower them with compliments in the vain hope that it would be appreciated with something more than a ‘thank you’.
For those guys who are still skeptical –there are some ‘n’ number of dating sites masquerading as networking sites, which especially appeals to our Indian sensibilities (don’t we love camouflaging anything remotely amorous) where you can copy-paste movie dialogues to women who are Ashiwarya Rai look-alikes (going by the pictures in their albums).
So rather than thinking about it as an obligatory performance of an outdated duty, all you people must treat this as a fun-activity very much like how you would go about your annual appraisal at work.

While I plan to hang around with my group of friends dressed in our invisible cloaks (which the Potter kid has kindly lent me) in my favorite pub, you go ahead and book that table in your restaurant of choice else you'd be forced to watch the special episode of KBC at home! –Don’t say I didn’t warn you.


Szerelem said...

It was my friends birthday yesterday and social outcast that we are we had forgotten that the cities restaurants would be full of lovey dovey couples and that reservations should have been made!! We were probably the only people hanging out in a group....
And I want an invisible cloak too!

Weary Hag said...

Guess what? We had our first snowstorm of the winter yesterday! I felt badly for all those guys who usually rush out last minute to get something special for wifey or girlfriend - they would have been in a pickle yesterday if they tried to get anywhere. haha
Luckily, my own husband thought to send me flowers the day before the storm. Smart man. :)

Swathi said...

remember, I was in a group too :)

@w. hag
but the snow storm would give the guys another reason to impress...

Ludwig said...

"Doh!", he exclaimed, and bonked himself of the head. [This comment has nothing to do with the post!] Of course, that's why she seemed familiar at the Caferati Hyd meeting yesterday evening. She was the one who liked Pondicherry and Hyderabad and went by the name Chimera...

As you can see, several pennies dropped last night after I got home. In case you haven't figured out yet, I'm the one who bought "The Final Solution" VCD from "Space Bar" after the readings yesterday :) Once again, nice to meet you!

i 7 said...

"shower them with compliments in the vain hope that it would be appreciated with something more than a ‘thank you’" - need sumthin more b said?!

catch 22 said...

Ah should have read this post earlier I landed up doing the very thing you warned about in the post, yeah yeah I watched Shahrukh Khan with those wretched couples thankfully was saved by a phone call when the Karan and Farah couple were there.

I guess you got the GDP figure all wrong shouldnt it be 16.77% ? ;)

And yeah talking about the flowers and balloons they were at all time high no wonder the inflation has gone to an all time high of 6.55%. Talking abt inflation shouldnt the flowers and balloons be in the basic basket of goods ? I should write to the RBI governor I guess.

Talking abt pink note book, do you have one of your own ? How many new entries this year ?

Which one is worse- facing ones annual appraisal or sharing that park bench with a couple of more couples who are all getting mushy under the moonlight and prying eyes of the people surrounding the park. Its an amazing entertainment trust me - its like circus with couples performing in the middle and people around watching and applauding the performance. Anytime for a free show I guess.

Swathi said...

i'm just wondering how Pondicherry,Hyd'bad n Chimera seemed familiar at all?
hopefully we'd have these meet more often.

ah! that explains the underlying implication of all pick-up lines :)

what an essay of a comment!well, at least in the case of the park incident i can walk off when i want to.

catch 22 said...

Well I hardly comment but when I do i do it dil khol ke :)

I actually got inspired on reading ur post that I wrote a Valentine's day post of my own. Mind you not get into your pink notebook.

zombiee said...

phew, GDP, Shiv Sena, hallmark holiday, isnt it fun afterall. The gifts, the extra mile, the butterflies in the stomach, the smiles, the sweaty palms, the dress, the evening and the long goodbye and goodnight. Seems like romance and love is just another commodity soon to be made in china ey! well hope you had fun at your pub

Deppe said...

haha. Almost fell for the 16.78% factoid.
Like H.Simpson says, ". people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that."

Swathi said...


hope that din apply to the girls; 'made in china', i mean :)

i agree with H.Simpson but then the thing with statistics is that it can't be proved wrong (depending on the sample size I mean) .

zombiee said...

wel thats the only part i wont resent. :)

Crouching Tigress said...

*Yawns*. Its a lazy Sunday.

*Waves at Princess*

Long time, how do you?!

anumita said...

I love valentine's simply because there's love and happiness in the air. We could always do with a bit of that!

salurocks said...

Interesting take akka!!!!